News: Taylor Swift Lurves Jane Austen! Etc.! (9/14/09)

Ahem.

Hi.

So, in case anyone was wondering whether I A) fell off the planet; B) said, "Eff it!" and moved into a fortress of Terry's Chocolate Orange and Crunchie bars; or C) decided to throw over everything I stand for and become a Francophile instead…well, never fear. I did none of those things. (Although option B is obviously still under consideration.)

I did, however, start my fall classes, which are inconsiderate enough to occupy the evening hours that I am accustomed to devoting to your edification and entertainment re: all things Anglo. Bastard classes.

Result: Let's see what happens if I promise ever so faithfully to update every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with extra posts thrown in, should time permit.

And now, on to the news:

1. Beyonce is a Brit?
   Miss B rocked the VMAs last night (I lurve that instead of lip-syncing during the chorus, she just dances her ass off and lets the recording take the vocals). But she closed her performance with a "Thank you very much indeed." It weirded me out a little, I'm not gonna lie.

Beyonce tore up the stage at the VMAs. Indeed.

2. Even British cats have accents.
   American cats say, "Meow." British cats say, "Miaow." I wonder if they take their milk with a bit of tea and sugar.
   
   This isn't actually news, of course, but I do love kitties. My roomie's kitty, one Fred the Cat, saved me from a ginormous alien bug last night. Go Fred!

Fred may look lascivious here, but she's got mad bug-locating skillz.

3. Taylor Swift rocks it like it's 1799.
   Last week, my country music-loving pops told me I would like the video to Taylor Swift's "Love Story." And people, let me tell you: I think Ms. Swift may have read Pride and Prejudice. Several times. Go watch the vid (and send lots of magmatic hate in the general direction of Kanye West, while you're at it).

Taylor Swift has a "Love Story" with Pride and Prejudice. Word.

4. Headteacher of school in Kent acts all crazy
   Headteacher Andrea Charman of Lydd Primary School let her students name, cuddle with, handfeed, and generally get all kinds of attached to a lamb. Then she sent said lamb (Marcus the sheep) to the slaughterhouse (more appealingly called an "abattoir" by the Times of London). Circle of life, food chain, etc. - I get it. But you can't raise a little lambkin as a pet and then send it to the chopping block. Bitch, are you crazy?

Marcus the sheep is condemned. What the eff?!

5. The Times of London on celebrity temper tantrums
   This bit about the Emperor Nero is awesome:
   

   Today’s celebrities have nothing on the emperors of Rome. Nero was particularly fond of a good shout, and once, rather depressingly, sent a party guest to his death. Other tantrums involved murdering his mother and kicking his wife to death

Emperor Nero: One crazy motherfucker

"Fond of a good shout" is my new favorite Anglicism. I think I'll go have a good shout right now.

The Cat's on the Bus and the Dark is Rising. (8/1/09)

Okay, y'all, Saturday cuteness: Darling Devon kitty takes regular advantage of public transportation. Even more darling bus drivers take care of kitty en route. You must watch this video; it's adorable. (Hat-tip to V!)

Casper takes the bus. Awwww!

Less cute: Did you know that the Times of London has a dating site? Does that seem odd to you? I don't believe the New York Times does this. NYT does, however, print things like this at the bottom of movie reviews: “Funny People” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Penis, penis, penis!

Um. Weird. Anyway...

In political news, I was unaware of the existence of Irish Travellers (whom we Yanks might refer to as Gypsies), and I am flabbergasted. Proper Gypsies (of the Roma tribe) are still in the UK as well. I suspect there is less fortune-telling and more dealing with limited means than our fairy tales might have us believe, but still. No one hangs on to tradition like the British.

On a closely related topic, I was also unaware of the alleged curse of the Wandering Jew—but maybe the exceptional Susan Cooper WAS aware of said Wanderer, and maybe he appeared in the The Dark Is Rising as the Walker.


If you haven't read The Dark is Rising series, you really, really should. Cooper wrote it in the '60s and '70s, and certain things about it may ring familiar: Will, the unassuming English boy who comes into his magical own on the dawn of his eleventh birthday. Merriman, the powerful magician who must sacrifice the one for the many. The ultimate battle of good versus evil, waged on a grand scale. But the similarities end there. Cooper's relatively somber five books possess a L'Engle-esque cast of characters, different books following different groups of people who are tied together in one way or another. There is a holiday in a heavily superstitious town; there is a long visit to a cheerful family in the painfully gorgeous Welsh countryside; even Arthurian legend is looped into the fold of Cooper's tales. (Though no one ever says, "Merlin's pants!" Which is a shame, really.)

I read these when I was eleven, just like Will, and I used to wander down a path through the woods behind my house, pretending it was the Old Ones' Way and that I was Seeking the six signs. Because I wasn't a dork at all.

If you are a sucker for ultimate battles between good and evil (and I know you are, you Lord of the Rings–loving, Star Wars–watching, Harry Potter–devouring nuts), read these books. They're short-ish; you can knock them out in a few weeks. And book four, The Grey King, won a Newbery medal. So you KNOW it's fab. But for the love of all that is holy, avoid the offensively reworked film version, 2007's The Seeker. (I'm not providing a link for that. Sully your own computer, if you must, but I won't do it.)

Rabies, Budgies, Wizard Rock (7/11/09)

This just in: Incest is not the only benefit that can be derived from living on an island. You could also be rabies-free since 1922! Of course, if we, like the UK, were rabies-free, we would get much less mileage out of foaming-at-the-mouth jokes.


And so consider this a public service announcement: If you, like me, are fantasizing about moving to the land of tea and biscuits, you'll need to get a microchip placed in your dog, cat, or ferret(!), after which said pet will need a rabies vaccination, followed by a blood test taken at least six months before you'll be landing in the UK. Otherwise, your wuvable wittle Snookums will languish in quarantine for six whole months, which is probably enough time for you to be deported for insufficient football fanaticism.

In other pet news, I've spent ages wondering what a budgie is, and I had finally determined that it must be some sort of wombatty, squirrel-like rodent.

Um, not so much. A budgerigar is just an effing parakeet. I should look things up before making up elaborate backstories involving marsupial/rodent migrations from Morocco (aided and abetted by flightless birds with hearts of gold). Whatever. It was a good story. Anyway, the one below has a British accent. (And when it says, "Harold, Theodora, Nick'las, Nick'las," don't be fooled. It's actually saying knickers!)



If anyone who is in or near Massachusetts is as excited as I am about Half-Blood Prince, you should totally go see Harry and the Potters play a show in a cave (well, a chasm) in Sutton, Mass., this Tuesday night. These guys put on The. Most. Fun. Shows. Ever. And join them at a midnight showing of HBP in the local theater after their cave show! I wish, wish, wish I could be there. But "going to see a wizard rock band play in a cave" does not actually carry the same weight as a doctor's note, apparently, so there's no getting off of work for that one.


Also, check out What Would Dumbledore Do? over at the HP Alliance for a collection of blogs relating wizarding world morals to Muggle world morals. Totally inspirational. And very, very Dumbledore.

As the man himself would say, "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"