December Boys! Daniel Radcliffe! Australia? (7/15/09)

OK, so I'mma just get this out the way, right off the bat: Daniel Radcliffe is hawt. It was at the opening night showing of Order of the Phoenix that I first realized it, and by the end of the movie, I had two burning questions:

1. When did Harry Potter get buff? and


2. When did I become a pedophile?

At least he's not a teenager anymore. (Is he? I think he's in his twenties now. You know what? Don't tell me if he isn't. Let's just say he's in his twenties now.)


All of that said, he's also an excellent actor. In rewatching any of the Potter films, I'm always a little disappointed by the emphasis on action content—I'd like to see Radcliffe doing all of that shouting Harry does in the books. (I'm not seeing HBP until Friday night—so no reaction on that front just yet!) But when I finally got around to seeing Equus (which I had been putting off on account of going to see Radcliffe naked made me feel like a dirty pedophile), I got to see him shouting his head off, and it was amazing. (The nudity, which was very much essential to the traumatizing scene it takes place in, was tastefully done—and the play was extremely good.)

Now, to the point: December Boys. The movie (which is actually Australian) is OK. Radcliffe's character, Maps, has a really engaging storyline (and gets in some good shouting, too), but it's held back till very late in the film, which focuses instead, and often not very interestingly, on four orphans (Maps included) frolicking at the seashore and vying for favor from potential adoptive parents. Still, on the whole, it's quite engaging. (Also, Radcliffe, who was maybe 15 at the time, is looking hotter than usual. So that adds a whole other level of appeal slash creepiness.)


And then there's the music. The score is god-awful and emotionally manipulative—all melodramatic strings during life-threatening situations and suspended cymbal swells at emotional climaxes. Which is to say that this movie about orphans (plus a fatal illness or two) did not make me cry.

Um. Yeah. Just to put my lack of weeping into perspective:

• Avenue Q (yes, the parody of Sesame Street with songs like "The Internet Is For Porn" and "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist") makes me cry.


• Scrubs makes me cry.


• Reading about Jane Austen succumbing to Addison's disease makes me cry.


• Seeing Mary Tyler Moore cry makes me cry.

A movie about orphans that doesn't make me cry = Epic Fail. No matter how hot or talented Daniel Radcliffe is. (Sorry, Daniel!)

So. Back to that. As with Equus, the media attention focused much more on his "sex scene" (which consists of some fully clothed making out—the Deed takes place offscreen), which wasn't as important as the shouting scenes, and now I'm quite ready to see him in more post-Potter work. More shouting, if you please!