Oliver Twist gone wrong, and more! (11/11/09)

Wednesday's news is all whap! bam! boom! in your face like whoa! Strap yourselves in, everyone. Very exciting stuff aujourd'hui.

Most important thing ever!
Um, did you guys know about A Very Potter Musical and NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT? If so, you're all assholes. If not, I forgive you.

Either way…the best kind of musical theater is self-aware musical theater!



There's more where that came from at StarKidPotter's YouTube channel. I know what I'll be watching this weekend!

My new favorite article of all time!
Step down, Oliver Twist. Faux-posh British ladies are rockin' the five-finger discount to maintain their pre-total-failure-of-the-global-economy standards of living. That chic, smelly cheese? They wants it. That flashy bracelet? They needs it, precious. They needs it.

"Oh, this plane? I just picked it up at Marks & Spencer. Stuck it right in my purse. Those cashiers, they never notice anything."

I know I should find this all very distasteful, a sign of modern society's crushing dependence on material things and overwhelming sense of entitlement, blah blah et cetera and so on. But really, I just think it's awesome. What a beautiful mental image I have right now. La.

Totally unfounded gossip!
You know that whole foiled plan to bomb the New York subway system? (Did you know that freaking 1 million people pass through Grand Central every day? I did not need to know that. But now I do. As do you. Sorry.)

Well, good old Scotland Yard tipped the FBI off on that! Thanks ever so much, British spies. Much appreciated. Of course, this information is obviously being released just now as a promotional ploy for the new Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr. and landing in theaters on December 25.

Rumor = STARTED

Dumb movie adaptations!
Speaking of Sherlock Holmes, though, does anyone else think this nonsense looks like a travesty? If they would simply call it something else, instead of pretending that Sherlock Holmes would ever actually get into fisticuffs with anyone, I would absolutely be backing this thing. But Holmes is very, very English. And not in a James Bond-y, action-adventure sort of way.

Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Whatever you say, Warner Brothers.

I can't embed the trailer, because apparently the Warner Brothers marketers have forgotten how to work the Interwebz, but you can watch it here.

Back at the castle!
In closing for you on this lovely Wednesday, a little something from Professor McGonagall:

10 Points to Gryffindor!

Have I mentioned how much I lurve I Can Has Cheezburger? 'Cause I lurve it thiiiiiiiis much! Mwah!

Now scram! You have A Very Potter Musical to watch!

Richard Armitage! Wales! Oxford! KITTENS! (11/2/09)

Obligatory "sexy Richard Armitage" photo. Are you happy, Google Images?

True story: My gaydar is pretty good, but my Eurgaydar™ doesn't work at ALL. (They drink tea out of dainty cups, they air-kiss, they lurve the theater…it's confusing!) So I'm not sure what to make of this comment by Richard Armitage about his costar Hermione Norris running out of an exploding house on-set:

I've never seen anyone leg it so fast, and she was in her Jimmy Choos!

I'm not saying Richard is gay. I'm just saying that if he were American and he said that, I'd be saying that he was gay. (Come on, y'all, referencing designer shoes by name? We've all seen that last-season Pradas scene in Legally Blonde.) In the article, Armitage also mentions producers' penchant for making him go topless. I love that he thinks his objectification is ridiculous. You can read all about it here.

Richard Armitage says, "Yes! Anglotastic finds objectification ridiculous, too! (Except on her blog. Then it's fine.)"

Another fab Armitage article (that totally makes me feel better about my ancient, collegiate, blogging ass) is over at the Daily Record. In it, he discusses the tough time he used to have getting acting jobs. Also, he worked as a laserquest marshall, you guys. If that's what I think it is, then it's so much more awesome (slash horrible) than being a waiter.

Richard Armitage with luscious locks as baddie Guy of Gisborne.

Abrupt change of subject: Hey, you know what I heart? Robin Hood! You know what I heart even more? Robin Hood with Claws! (WHY have I been ignoring the existence of I Can Has Cheezburger for all this time? What is wrong with me?! I needz to embrace the Interwebz!)

Invisible Bow and Arrow

Kitties are adorbs. Here's another one:

Kitten Invents Welsh

Did you know there is a town in Wales called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? It's a fact! Apparently, it means "the church of St. Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the church of Tysilio by the red cave." Just in case you need to know.

It's a map of Wales! OMG!

In non–adorable kitten news, I have a fairy tale to tell you!

Once upon a time, a little copyeditor couldn't find a job, so she decided to go to grad school. That sounded boring, so in addition to lame American schools, she applied to the magical educational institution Oxford, which has colleges that date all the way back to the thirteenth century. (Oooooh! Aaaaah!)

Oxford cruelly rejected the little copyeditor on a piece of British-size A4 paper, so she went to a lame American school instead. That's probably for the best, though, because she may or may not have primarily (um, entirely) applied to Hogwarts Oxford because they have Common Rooms and take their meals "in Hall." The colleges are presumably decorated with suits of armor, and everyone divides their time between performing magic and solving mysteries—or so the little copyeditor has been told.

Then, a year after turning the little copyeditor away, Oxford released sample interview questions, meaning that other little copyeditors, if they were asked for interviews, would be more prepared. But our little copyeditor had no use for such questions.

According to the above pictorial evidence, Oxford is an actual Magical Town.

And so the little copyeditor kissed her Oxon dreams goodbye. Instead of crossing the threshold of those hallowed halls of ancient learning, she moved to dirty, fabulous New York City and began plotting her emigration to London, where she will one day live happily ever after. Holla.

The End

News: Taylor Swift Lurves Jane Austen! Etc.! (9/14/09)

Ahem.

Hi.

So, in case anyone was wondering whether I A) fell off the planet; B) said, "Eff it!" and moved into a fortress of Terry's Chocolate Orange and Crunchie bars; or C) decided to throw over everything I stand for and become a Francophile instead…well, never fear. I did none of those things. (Although option B is obviously still under consideration.)

I did, however, start my fall classes, which are inconsiderate enough to occupy the evening hours that I am accustomed to devoting to your edification and entertainment re: all things Anglo. Bastard classes.

Result: Let's see what happens if I promise ever so faithfully to update every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with extra posts thrown in, should time permit.

And now, on to the news:

1. Beyonce is a Brit?
   Miss B rocked the VMAs last night (I lurve that instead of lip-syncing during the chorus, she just dances her ass off and lets the recording take the vocals). But she closed her performance with a "Thank you very much indeed." It weirded me out a little, I'm not gonna lie.

Beyonce tore up the stage at the VMAs. Indeed.

2. Even British cats have accents.
   American cats say, "Meow." British cats say, "Miaow." I wonder if they take their milk with a bit of tea and sugar.
   
   This isn't actually news, of course, but I do love kitties. My roomie's kitty, one Fred the Cat, saved me from a ginormous alien bug last night. Go Fred!

Fred may look lascivious here, but she's got mad bug-locating skillz.

3. Taylor Swift rocks it like it's 1799.
   Last week, my country music-loving pops told me I would like the video to Taylor Swift's "Love Story." And people, let me tell you: I think Ms. Swift may have read Pride and Prejudice. Several times. Go watch the vid (and send lots of magmatic hate in the general direction of Kanye West, while you're at it).

Taylor Swift has a "Love Story" with Pride and Prejudice. Word.

4. Headteacher of school in Kent acts all crazy
   Headteacher Andrea Charman of Lydd Primary School let her students name, cuddle with, handfeed, and generally get all kinds of attached to a lamb. Then she sent said lamb (Marcus the sheep) to the slaughterhouse (more appealingly called an "abattoir" by the Times of London). Circle of life, food chain, etc. - I get it. But you can't raise a little lambkin as a pet and then send it to the chopping block. Bitch, are you crazy?

Marcus the sheep is condemned. What the eff?!

5. The Times of London on celebrity temper tantrums
   This bit about the Emperor Nero is awesome:
   

   Today’s celebrities have nothing on the emperors of Rome. Nero was particularly fond of a good shout, and once, rather depressingly, sent a party guest to his death. Other tantrums involved murdering his mother and kicking his wife to death

Emperor Nero: One crazy motherfucker

"Fond of a good shout" is my new favorite Anglicism. I think I'll go have a good shout right now.

Kitten Tea (8/21/09)

Straight to the news: The Onion reports on the royal family's concerns re: the Queen. Has Her Royal Highness been putting aluminum foil in the microwave? "Sources" say: Yes!

Incidentally, if you are in possession of a teacup with a gold or silver rim: That may not be paint. That may be gold or silver. So if you've forgotten a nice brew of tea on the counter in said cup, don't just pop it in the microwave; instead, transfer the contents to a non-metallic vessel before any reheating attempts. (Though the sight of miniature lightning zipping around your microwave can be quite thrilling. Not that I would know.)

You should refrain from putting metallic teacups in the microwave. You should also refrain from putting teacups full of kitten in the microwave.

And that's the news. Now, to bed! The heat is sapping all my energy, y'all. I will soon be a puddle of skin and eyeballs. Gross.