Standing Up to the UK! (8/9/09)

For those of you who, like me, are plotting your eventual emigration to the motherland, I've got great news: Whole Foods UK! That's right. Your favorite purveyor of snotty, totally delish organic cuisine is based in Austin, Texas, but has opened stores in Great Britain, as well.

Whole Foods. Almost as good as Trader Joe's…but not quite.

Unfortch...it's sort of bleeding cash and has been doing poorly in general, and it may not survive much longer, though it is struggling to revamp by refocusing on health, rather than, say, Amy's Organic Frozen Pizza. Which may be organic, but is still frozen pizza.

In short, you should probs get your expat on sooner rather than later if you want to purchase your Whole Foods nibbles in pounds sterling.

Speaking of the United Kingdom versus the United States, per this (admittedly dated—and yet not, as it's fake) article over at The Onion, you Brits should give credit where credit is due. The US is a proper country by now, thanks! You may possess the wisdom of old age, as you creak in your Saxon-descendent rockers, but we're more than 200 years old, and we'd like to be treated as adults. Humph.

…Yeah. I love The Onion. Best line: "'I've admired the British ever since I saw them on PBS as a kid,' Prousalis added, blushing slightly. 'Do they have any idea how bad they make us feel when they disregard us like this?'" (British television does totally rock. You've got us there.)

"Holy sh**, General. The Americans have got light sabers, too. I thought we were the only ones with keys to the TARDIS!"

Now. Being serious. This is not fun, or amusing, but this article from the Independent about sexual abuse perpetrated by women—often mothers—is eye-opening. The article is not graphic, but discusses the difficulty victims have in getting anyone to take them seriously. Sadface.

But I shall, of course, leave you on a lighter note: William Orbit, the genius behind Madonna's exquisite, Grammy-winning album Ray of Light, has dropped a new record of his own, My Oracle Lives Uptown. Check out this article about the record (and his need to take a break from producing superstars). One of my college friends attempted to persuade me to buy some Orbit, but I never got around to it. I've just bought his 1996 collection The Best of Strange Cargos, though—said friend never led me wrong when it came to musical considerations, whether he was championing Britney Spears, Incubus, Bonnie Raitt, or Missy Elliott.

William Orbit: a senstive musician. How original.

And now I'm going to go squeeze what joy I can out of what bit of weekend is left. Wish me luck!