News: Taylor Swift Lurves Jane Austen! Etc.! (9/14/09)

Ahem.

Hi.

So, in case anyone was wondering whether I A) fell off the planet; B) said, "Eff it!" and moved into a fortress of Terry's Chocolate Orange and Crunchie bars; or C) decided to throw over everything I stand for and become a Francophile instead…well, never fear. I did none of those things. (Although option B is obviously still under consideration.)

I did, however, start my fall classes, which are inconsiderate enough to occupy the evening hours that I am accustomed to devoting to your edification and entertainment re: all things Anglo. Bastard classes.

Result: Let's see what happens if I promise ever so faithfully to update every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with extra posts thrown in, should time permit.

And now, on to the news:

1. Beyonce is a Brit?
   Miss B rocked the VMAs last night (I lurve that instead of lip-syncing during the chorus, she just dances her ass off and lets the recording take the vocals). But she closed her performance with a "Thank you very much indeed." It weirded me out a little, I'm not gonna lie.

Beyonce tore up the stage at the VMAs. Indeed.

2. Even British cats have accents.
   American cats say, "Meow." British cats say, "Miaow." I wonder if they take their milk with a bit of tea and sugar.
   
   This isn't actually news, of course, but I do love kitties. My roomie's kitty, one Fred the Cat, saved me from a ginormous alien bug last night. Go Fred!

Fred may look lascivious here, but she's got mad bug-locating skillz.

3. Taylor Swift rocks it like it's 1799.
   Last week, my country music-loving pops told me I would like the video to Taylor Swift's "Love Story." And people, let me tell you: I think Ms. Swift may have read Pride and Prejudice. Several times. Go watch the vid (and send lots of magmatic hate in the general direction of Kanye West, while you're at it).

Taylor Swift has a "Love Story" with Pride and Prejudice. Word.

4. Headteacher of school in Kent acts all crazy
   Headteacher Andrea Charman of Lydd Primary School let her students name, cuddle with, handfeed, and generally get all kinds of attached to a lamb. Then she sent said lamb (Marcus the sheep) to the slaughterhouse (more appealingly called an "abattoir" by the Times of London). Circle of life, food chain, etc. - I get it. But you can't raise a little lambkin as a pet and then send it to the chopping block. Bitch, are you crazy?

Marcus the sheep is condemned. What the eff?!

5. The Times of London on celebrity temper tantrums
   This bit about the Emperor Nero is awesome:
   

   Today’s celebrities have nothing on the emperors of Rome. Nero was particularly fond of a good shout, and once, rather depressingly, sent a party guest to his death. Other tantrums involved murdering his mother and kicking his wife to death

Emperor Nero: One crazy motherfucker

"Fond of a good shout" is my new favorite Anglicism. I think I'll go have a good shout right now.

Witches and Priests (8/3/09)

Eek it's Monday! And now I will tell you about some things of the various and sundry variety.

Witches!
Witches have always gotten a bum rap. It's invariably unjustified and usually consists of society taking out its frustrations on independent women, who are generally viewed (even today) as a threat to Life As We Know It. The best bit—the bit that really makes the witch hunters look douchey—is that the naysayers have a nasty habit of seeking the assistance of the women they revile. (The Witch of Endor, for an old-school example.) But still, witches are presented as creepy, whether they're ruining Macbeth's life, bringing plagues (in England, once upon a time), or communing with the devil in the nude (in Salem, once upon a time).

Double, double, y'all.

But no more. In a post-Charmed world, witches are good! And like Salem, Mass., which ookily takes commercial advantage of its witchy past, Wells, England, is in the witch trade: Following their recent Wookey Hole witch auditions, one lucky witch will be pulling in £50,000 a year for cackling and chillin' with cats.

Wookey Hole Witch Audition 2009. Represent.

Survey says? Sign me up! I guess I need to work on my British accent. Surely these auditions will be coming around again eventually, and I want to be prepared.

Anglo-Saxon-ipedia!
There's a version of Wikipedia in Anglo-Saxon. This is cool, though not actually useful, as Anglo-Saxon bears all the similarity to modern English as Welsh does, which is to say, none. But if you were an Anglo-Saxon scholar, this would be, like, the highlight of your year.

Anglo like whoa.

I'm in love with a priest!
Not a real one, but a fictional one. I first saw Father Peter from Ballykissangel on a Comic Relief special with my girl Dawn French, aka Geraldine Granger, The Vicar of Dibley:



So when my Netflix told me that I was an Anglophile (this is true, it really did) and suggested I watch Ballykissangel, I said, "Yes, I think I will, thanks." And a few episodes later, I fell in love with Father Peter Clifford. Just like a former Catholic girl should. I don't usually do dramedy; I'm generally all laughs, all the time. But Ballykissangel is just the right balance of light and serious. (And I'm awfully glad none of my priests were ever as charmingly goodhearted and idealistic—and young—as Stephen Tompkinson's Father Peter. I'm pretty sure that lusting after a priest counts as a sin.)

Stephen Tompkinson as most personable priest ever.

And finally, news in brief: Doctor Who is mind-blowingly awesome. Full report to come at some point in the near future. Or past. Or whenever the hell I feel like, actually, 'cause I'm the Time Lord's bitch now.