WRock, the Doctor, and The Office. Yes! (12/2/09)

Hey, everybody! I declare this Wizard Wednesday. So put on your pointy hats before reading this post.

Are you ready? Okay! Onward we go!

Keeping Track of Time and Stuff
If you, unlike me, do not want this year's Nude London Tech Calendar, mayhap you will be interested in the Calendar of WRock from The Harry Potter Alliance? Wizard Rock FTW!

Harry and the Potters make an HPA Calendar of WRock appearance.

Traveling Through Time and Stuff
Apparently there is some big Doctor Who biznass going down, but as I haven't seen anything since the series 2 finale, I can't read about it myself. Down with spoilers! But it appears to be a Christmas special, as well as David Tennant's actual final episodes as the Doctor, and YOU can read about it here.

As I have finally recovered from the trauma of series 2, I am totes ready to keep watching. But this pesky grad school malarky keeps getting in my way! I will see you again one day, my Doctor.

David Tennant as a Christmas Time Lord.

Meanwhile, on the Link Train…
Filmi Girl has sent me some fabby links in the past few days, and this is where I pass them on to you!

• Why have I not been reading webcomic Hark, a vagrant? Dude Watchin' With the Brontës = Hi-larious! "Alcoholic dickbag" is my fave insult of the day.


• The word is in: Dawn French says it is NOT OKAY to make fun of fat people. (Yes, Ricky Gervais, I'm looking at YOU.)


• You know what I lurve? Twilight parodies. Reading about Twilight from a Brit's bemused point of view is also pretty rad.

I Heart Dunder Mifflin
A small Office follow-up: Is it wrong that I would like to redecorate my apartment with these items? (The correct answer is "No, Anglotastic, it isn't wrong. In fact, it's so right that it hurts.")

DUNDER MIFFLIN!!!!!!

Now get back to your real offices, everyone. Dwight Shrute Bobblehead not included.

Ballet Shoes, plus a John Oliver refill (10/19/09)

Let's get right to it, chickens, shall we?

First up: Emma Watson is a good actress!

I'm so excited! I've always loved her Hermione from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, but in every movie since, she's seemed less Hermione-like to me, and I was worried that was a result of incompetence. But inSTEAD, it's just that her Hermione is not the one in my head! So it was a relief to like her so, so much when I watched Ballet Shoes last night, because I do hate to think anything negative about anyone associated with my man Harry Potter.



Things I loved about Ballet Shoes:

1. I was sort of expecting it to be terrible, but instead, it was awesome. (What? That totally belongs on the pro list. Everybody loves a nice surprise.)


2. The majority of the characters are kick-ass women with distinct, non-stereotypical personalities.


3. The two retired schoolteachers are fab. Also, they are deffo lesbians, though it's never stated, and no one even blinks an eye about it.


4. Two of the three girls around whom the movie revolves can be pretty bratty. That makes me want to hit them less than when children in movies are vomitously saccharine. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate stupid David Copperfield and all of his stupid perfect virtue?)


5. Emma Watson's character, Pauline, is an aspiring actress, and it's the 1930s. Result: Cool 1930s acting scenes!


6. Petrova, played by gorgeous Yasmin Paige, wants to be an aviator! Also, Paige apparently plays a recurring character in The Sarah Jane Adventures, a Doctor Who spin-off that I've never heard of but obviously need to watch post-haste.

Yasmin Paige, Lucy Boynton, and Emma Watson in Ballet Shoes.

Of course, there are a few cons, as well.

1. The ending is Very Very Happy, which begs disbelief and weakens the story. And yet...who am I kidding? I kind of loved the obnoxiously happy ending.


2. It may not technically be the best movie ever, and was a bit touch-and-go throughout. But I don't care, and I liked it ever so much anyway.


3. It's based on a book! So, yay, I can read it now! Not having read Noel Streatfeild's books (apparently there is a Shoes series - Tennis Shoes! Skating Shoes! Party Shoes!), I could not be offended by the adaptation. Ergo, this is a "con-yet-to-come." Because just you wait until I've read the book. Then I'll be all, "That scene should have happened later! This character was missing completely! Hermione is supposed to have bushy hair!"...oh, heh heh. Oops. Wrong book.

And now, the return of John Oliver!

I got to see Oliver at The Daily Show two weeks ago, and last week, I followed that up by seeing his live stand-up show with my roommate down at 92Y Tribeca! For wicked cheap! In the third row!

This is not a picture of John Oliver from when I saw him last week. But it IS a picture of John Oliver.

Vital John Oliver information:

1. His stand-up is hilarious. And he does not rely on the toilet- and frat-boy humor that so many dude comedians do. [8 points]


2. He is not amused by taxation without representation. He has been here for three years, damn it, and if we do not let him vote, he is going to dump Diet Pepsi into Boston Harbor and see how we like it. [6 points for empathizing with the Patriots; -4 points for thinking Diet Pepsi is Americans' drink of choice. Team Coca-Cola!!!]


3. He pronounces "Git 'er done!" as "Get her done," complete with crisp enunciation. [8 points for being Extremely English]


4. You know the BBC America subtitle campaign? The one with bits like "The following program contains accents you would have heard a lot more if you hadn't thrown our tea into Boston Harbor"? He WROTE that! It's my favorite ad of all time! [10 points]


5. The Suicide Girls interview with John Oliver from which I culled the above tidbit is most excellent. [4 points]


6. He has a little bit of a man belly. It's kind of adorbs. [4 points]


Total: 36 points (I'm not sure what these points have earned you, John Oliver, but feel free to contact me if you would like to redeem them. I may not be able to arrange citizenship, but I could perhaps offer you a Diet Pepsi?)

This is also a picture of John Oliver. Awww, dimples!

Moving on to News in Brief:

• Pink Stinks is a wicked awesome UK campaign promoting real role models for girls and shunning the "culture of pink" that locks boys and girls into predetermined gender roles. Holla. (Hat tip to The F-Word. Also, disclaimer: I totally lurve pink. Not as much as purple, though.)


• Check out Bristol artist Richard Box, whose field of fluorescent tubes powered by the power lines overhead is beautiful and trippy.


• The HP Alliance, which furthers Dumbledore's message of fighting evil and being awesome and magical, is throwing a Wrock 4 Equality concert featuring Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys in Portland, Maine, this Saturday, October 24. You can join in the fun via the Wrock 4 Equality livestream at 10:30 a.m. (Hey. Equality for the LGBT community is worth rolling your lazy arse out of bed early on a Saturday and clicking a button on your computer.)

And...my work here is done. Run along now! Pip pip!

Dial-a-Ghost, plus ejaculating cake! (7/22/09)

First up: adorable kidz' book. (I am a big old sucker for children's lit. I think maybe there's less navel-gazing than in grown-up land? Whatever it is...kidz' books rock!) Dial-a-Ghost, by Eva Ibbotson, is pinch-its-cheeks cute. To wit: Oliver Smith's evil cousins try to scare him to death—but the lovely, oh-so-British Wilkinsons turn up and befriend him instead. Confusion and awesomeness ensue. (Adopta the ghost-animal lover helps.)

Basically, any book that starts off like this:

The Wilkinson family became ghosts quite suddenly during the Second World War when a bomb fell on their house.

possesses just the right amount of whimsy, I think. Also, my biggest, most Anglophiliest obsession is British English. The English on the Other Side of the Pond rocks my socks, and it totally runs rampant up in here. Yes!


Speaking of the Second World War, which was a long time ago...1623 was also a long time ago. And here is a mince pie recipe from 1623! Thanks, Britain Express! They also have more reasonable recipes, like Harry Potter's fave, treacle toffee.

Once upon a time, I checked out a book from the library with old English recipes—but as minor details (such as oven temperatures) were conspicuously absent, I didn't get very far. Nor with the mince pie recipe, I think. It instructs you to "cut the best flesh of the best flesh" from a leg of mutton, for starters. A tad vague for me.

Anywho, while we're chatting about food, how about star British chef Heston Blumenthal's ejaculating cake? Heston did a series of period dinners (the Victorian one featured an enormous glow-in-the-dark absinthe jelly), and ejaculating cake is a Roman delicacy, apparently. I couldn't find a video of Heston's cake in action, but for a more mod, very graphic (read: kind of crass) American version, check out this (very) short video (premature ejaculation short, if you know what I'm sayin').

Heston Blumenthal's ejaculating cake, post-coital.

In de rigueur Harry Potter news, Emma Watson has confirmed to Paste magazine that she will be attending Uni in the US, at Brown. (Actually, she said, "I’ve got a place there to read literature." How Very British.)

Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson being adorable together.

You can also check out the Paste interview with Daniel Radcliffe, as well as their general Harry Potter mania, including props for my boys Harry and the Potters. Nice.

Joe and Paul DeGeorge are wizards who rock.

(Side note: Paste and its founder/editor-in-chief, Josh Jackson, are both awesome. Like many, many other mags, it's struggling hardcore right now, so if you lurve music, you might consider subscribing to it.)

And now I leave you with my new favorite thing: the Guardian news quiz. I always fail, but it keeps me informed, more or less.

For example: Did you know that Prince Charles is now repurposing his bathwater to his garden? Sounds like my whole switching from tp to leaves theory wasn't as far off as one might have thought!

Rabies, Budgies, Wizard Rock (7/11/09)

This just in: Incest is not the only benefit that can be derived from living on an island. You could also be rabies-free since 1922! Of course, if we, like the UK, were rabies-free, we would get much less mileage out of foaming-at-the-mouth jokes.


And so consider this a public service announcement: If you, like me, are fantasizing about moving to the land of tea and biscuits, you'll need to get a microchip placed in your dog, cat, or ferret(!), after which said pet will need a rabies vaccination, followed by a blood test taken at least six months before you'll be landing in the UK. Otherwise, your wuvable wittle Snookums will languish in quarantine for six whole months, which is probably enough time for you to be deported for insufficient football fanaticism.

In other pet news, I've spent ages wondering what a budgie is, and I had finally determined that it must be some sort of wombatty, squirrel-like rodent.

Um, not so much. A budgerigar is just an effing parakeet. I should look things up before making up elaborate backstories involving marsupial/rodent migrations from Morocco (aided and abetted by flightless birds with hearts of gold). Whatever. It was a good story. Anyway, the one below has a British accent. (And when it says, "Harold, Theodora, Nick'las, Nick'las," don't be fooled. It's actually saying knickers!)



If anyone who is in or near Massachusetts is as excited as I am about Half-Blood Prince, you should totally go see Harry and the Potters play a show in a cave (well, a chasm) in Sutton, Mass., this Tuesday night. These guys put on The. Most. Fun. Shows. Ever. And join them at a midnight showing of HBP in the local theater after their cave show! I wish, wish, wish I could be there. But "going to see a wizard rock band play in a cave" does not actually carry the same weight as a doctor's note, apparently, so there's no getting off of work for that one.


Also, check out What Would Dumbledore Do? over at the HP Alliance for a collection of blogs relating wizarding world morals to Muggle world morals. Totally inspirational. And very, very Dumbledore.

As the man himself would say, "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"