Dorkodactyl!
Proof positive: Last night, I watched the History Channel's History's Mysteries: The True Story of Robin Hood…and I already knew about half of what they told me. Presaging the History Channel is not a great sign.
History of the Hood
But now I am even more informed! Lucky you! And as I promised, I'll be giving y'all the lowdown on my Robin Hood–related activites. So here's the brief rundown of Robin Hood as we know him, right up through 2010.
1190–1290 (ish): Various dudes may or may not have been the actual Robin Hood. Contenders include Robert Hod, Robert Hood, and William Robehod (fugitive, 1261); our Robin may be an amalgamation of these gents, among others. But they weren't gents. They were thieving gits.
Zazzle reps for William Robehod with this tee.
1200s–1300s: Robin Hood ballads make the rounds of Merry Olde England. Our boy Robbie fights with the Sheriff of Nottingham, kills the king's deer, and chillaxes with Lil' John. He rocks a bow and arrow, he steals stuff, he's rash, and he picks fights with everyone he meets. Not so much with the whole VolunteerMatch biznass, this one.
Nottingham's 1949 nod to Robin Hood
1377: Robin first appears in print, in the poem Piers Plowman. Piers cops to knowing RH ballads better than the Lord's Prayer. (Oh, no he didn't! That sumbitch is going to HELL!)
1500s: Maid Marian makes her first appearance. Finally. Old Rob, who used to be a poor-ass, thieving yeoman, becomes the dispossessed Robin of Locksley, Earl of Huntingdon. Now that he's a rebel with a cause, he becomes all idealistic and warm and fuzzy and starts stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, just like President Obama wants to do. (And just as it should be, thanks.)
1600s–1800s: Robin makes regular appearances in children's stories, adults' stories, songs, plays, games of Catch Phrase, etc.
1900s: Errol Flynn, Douglas Fairbanks, the Costner idiot, Cary Elwes, and Michael Praed, among others, don that jaunty green cap. But eff them. The point is, Marian is consistently portrayed as bitchy and awesome—she's mouthy even when she's relegated to damsel in distress.
1988: Robin McKinley writes the grim Outlaws of Sherwood. Marian is the best archer of the bunch. Robin, unlike most Robins, is compassionate and anxious, rather than cocky and mocking. I LOVE this book.
Lucy Griffiths as Maid Marian. She will eff you up.
2006: The History Channel hires a man with hair that bears a suspicious resemblance to a mullet to chart historians charting Robin Hood. Apparently, Barnsdale (in Yorkshire) and Nottingham (in Nottinghamshire) have been arguing fiercely for a REALLY long time over where Robin Hood was actually from.
2006–2009: Jonas Armstrong rocks Robin for the BBC's latest (and now-defunct) Hood offering. Richard Armitage delivers consistently creepy performances as Guy of Gisborne. Lucy Griffiths is a fabulously dressed, completely anachronistic, totally ballsy Marian.
Jonas Armstrong: the hipster Robin Hood
2010: Russell Crowe will be wearing the quiver in Ridley Scott's update. Cate Blanchett will be Marian. This could be awesome. It could also be terrible. Stay tuned! (For kind of a longish time. See you in 2010, guys!)
Russell Crowe as the next Hood
Nebulous date in future: Nottingham totally has an awesome-looking Robin Hood Festival every year, and I HAVE to go. The vendors make real longbows! Real medieval coins! Real arrows! (Dudes. Medieval arrows could pierce modern bulletproof glass. That. Is. WICKED.)
Cary Elwes and a sheaf of bulletproof glass–breakers.
Mayhap I will see you there.
No comments:
Post a Comment