A Harry Potter Post. Magical! (11/30/09)

The first installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows isn't dropping until November 19, 2010. Is it too soon to start talking about it? No? Good!

Based on the below Lego® trailer of Order of the Phoenix, I would like to suggest to Warner Brothers that they scrap whatever they're working on and do the final two movies all in Legos. The current cast can do the voices. Best Idea of All Time.




Speaking of Harry Potter, one of my friends just got back from LA, and while she was there, she got me a present from Grauman's Chinese Theatre! Look!

OMFG wand prints! Harry, Ron, and Hermione make an appearance at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in LA.

This is my favorite picture ever. I love Emma's pointy little shoes next to the boys' big bulky ones. Also, my friend is apparently Sherlock Holmes, and she pointed out that Rupert is totes wearing Converse! Love it!

Hot or Not?: Foreign Policy Edition (11/23/09)

Happy Monday, everyone!

We're going to start the week off with a confession: Instead of selflessly watching oodles of Britty television to review for you, I have been obsessively watching the American version of The Office. Even though I know exactly what's going to happen with Pam and Jim, the suspense is killing me, and I may or may not have watched numerous episodes in the last two days. And by "numerous," I mean "23." Or so. Shut up.

My obsession with Pam and Jim = borderline psychotic. And now you know.

Nevertheless, I have managed to rustle up some Britty goodness on the Interwebz, and here it is:

Tory Party News of the Weird!
The Tory party chairman is named Eric Pickles! And he used to be a Communist! But mostly I just think "Pickles" is a fabulous surname. It presumably serves as the set-up to lots of obnoxious jokes about foodstuffs. Between that and the fact that he read Leon Trotsky's History of the Russian Revolution at age 14, I suspect that Pickles had a difficult time with the other kiddies when he was in school.

Cheese and Pickles sandwich, anyone?

Monarchies are just the cutest!
OMGA!!! (That's "Oh My God Adorable," a long-overdue acronym. You're welcome.) Look at Queen Elizabeth II being all royal and shizz at the annual State opening of Parliament! How cute is it that the British are still playing Monarchy? I just want to pinch their imperialistic little cheeks.

Queen Elizabeth II is just darling in her little queen outfit, isn't she?

Younger Men = Yes, Please
Being an Anglophile isn't just for the proletariate, dudes. In fact, just last week U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton described her English counterpart, U.K. Foreign Secretary David Miliband, as "tall and dashing." I can definitely see it:

David Miliband is nerd-chic, and Hillary Clinton isn't afraid to say so.

In the article, which unsurprisingly A) refers to Clinton as Hillary and to Miliband as Miliband and B) is all over the map on gender relations, the Telegraph sort of asserts the rights of the older woman to think that younger men are hawt. Thanks, Telegraph. You wouldn't happen to have Daniel Radcliffe's phone number handy, would you?

Daniel Radcliffe being all young and beautiful.

Le sigh. If you'll excuse me, I have a daydream to attend to.

Rocking the Invisibility Cloak (7/29/09)

First, if you hadn't heard, some gasbag over at the New York Times is all worried about the ickle children being exposed to alcohol by Half-Blood Prince. Riiiight. (Egalitarian Bookworm said it best: "The dumbest Harry Potter article of all time.")

Gettin' trashed, wizard-style.

For a more thrilling Harry Potter update, hold onto your broomsticks: I admit the possibility that I was buried under an extra-large rock when this news dropped last August, but how the eff did I not know that researchers at UC Berkeley have made strides toward creating an INVISIBILITY CLOAK? Why would that not be the leading news story for every outlet in the world? (Instead, no one ever shuts up about this sort of nonsense.)

Anway, dudes, these science fellows and fellowettes have created a light-refracting, metal fishnet material (that's right...fishnets!) that...I dunno, I didn't really understand the paper. Who do you think I am, Hermione? But it makes things refract around the "invisible" object, and it doesn't use much energy. For now, it's best used for nabbing clearer antenna signals (um, who cares?), and because it's metal, it's too fragile to be a proper Invisibility Cloak. (Scientists have been working on this for a while apparently, including peeps at Duke and in Tokyo.)

Diagram of light refraction that somehow induces invisibility. Guy on the right is as confused as I am.

Regardless, in the press release posted on UC Berkeley's own site, Harry Potter is name-checked. Which is kind of awesome in and of itself.

Of course, this begs the obvious question: If you could have one magical skill, spell, or item, what would it be?

Awww! Daniel Radcliffe's head when he was wee!

Invisibility Cloaks are a little "Every Breath You Take"* for me, in that superfun, potential stalker sort of way, though our boy Harry usually manages to use it for noble purposes, rather than, say, spying on girls at sleepovers (hat-tip to Saved by the Bell, y'all).

I may have to think this one over, though having access to the Hogwarts Library (or Honeydukes! Yum!) might do the trick. I already have a wand…maybe I'd like a set of wizard chessmen shouting advice at me and beating each other up…Oh! I know. I want Pigwidgeon. He'll deliver letters for me. And soar around my room, twittering excitedly. He is SO precious. What say you, peanut gallery?

Pigwidgeon!

*Weird-but-awesome economic-geek cover of "Every Breath You Take." Thanks, Columbia Business School! (Nerds.)

Dial-a-Ghost, plus ejaculating cake! (7/22/09)

First up: adorable kidz' book. (I am a big old sucker for children's lit. I think maybe there's less navel-gazing than in grown-up land? Whatever it is...kidz' books rock!) Dial-a-Ghost, by Eva Ibbotson, is pinch-its-cheeks cute. To wit: Oliver Smith's evil cousins try to scare him to death—but the lovely, oh-so-British Wilkinsons turn up and befriend him instead. Confusion and awesomeness ensue. (Adopta the ghost-animal lover helps.)

Basically, any book that starts off like this:

The Wilkinson family became ghosts quite suddenly during the Second World War when a bomb fell on their house.

possesses just the right amount of whimsy, I think. Also, my biggest, most Anglophiliest obsession is British English. The English on the Other Side of the Pond rocks my socks, and it totally runs rampant up in here. Yes!


Speaking of the Second World War, which was a long time ago...1623 was also a long time ago. And here is a mince pie recipe from 1623! Thanks, Britain Express! They also have more reasonable recipes, like Harry Potter's fave, treacle toffee.

Once upon a time, I checked out a book from the library with old English recipes—but as minor details (such as oven temperatures) were conspicuously absent, I didn't get very far. Nor with the mince pie recipe, I think. It instructs you to "cut the best flesh of the best flesh" from a leg of mutton, for starters. A tad vague for me.

Anywho, while we're chatting about food, how about star British chef Heston Blumenthal's ejaculating cake? Heston did a series of period dinners (the Victorian one featured an enormous glow-in-the-dark absinthe jelly), and ejaculating cake is a Roman delicacy, apparently. I couldn't find a video of Heston's cake in action, but for a more mod, very graphic (read: kind of crass) American version, check out this (very) short video (premature ejaculation short, if you know what I'm sayin').

Heston Blumenthal's ejaculating cake, post-coital.

In de rigueur Harry Potter news, Emma Watson has confirmed to Paste magazine that she will be attending Uni in the US, at Brown. (Actually, she said, "I’ve got a place there to read literature." How Very British.)

Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson being adorable together.

You can also check out the Paste interview with Daniel Radcliffe, as well as their general Harry Potter mania, including props for my boys Harry and the Potters. Nice.

Joe and Paul DeGeorge are wizards who rock.

(Side note: Paste and its founder/editor-in-chief, Josh Jackson, are both awesome. Like many, many other mags, it's struggling hardcore right now, so if you lurve music, you might consider subscribing to it.)

And now I leave you with my new favorite thing: the Guardian news quiz. I always fail, but it keeps me informed, more or less.

For example: Did you know that Prince Charles is now repurposing his bathwater to his garden? Sounds like my whole switching from tp to leaves theory wasn't as far off as one might have thought!

HBP with a cup of tea and cluelessness (7/19/09)

Maybe my blood sugar was low.

Maybe it was raging PMS.

Or maybe it was that Half-Blood Prince is, hands down, my absolute favorite Harry Potter book.

But whatever it was, despite some key perks—Alan Rickman's pitch-perfect Snape, Rupert Grint's continued flawless delivery as Ron, and Daniel Radcliffe's charming stoner scene, to be specific—I have only one word to say about the movie:

Yawn.

Half-Blood Prince: Not my cup of butterbeer.

Moving swiftly onward...

My friend and I did indeed hit Tea and Sympathy for lunch on Friday, and it was adorable, entertaining, and embarrassing. What a fab combo, right? The restaurant is TINY, which is to say that it seats only 23 (23!); actual Brits, complete with adorable accents and vocabularies, go there; and the food was yummy and authentically English. And since I am pickier than a vegan (according to a reputable, meat-and-dairy-shunning source), there wasn't a ton I could eat...but the scones were yummy, as was the vanilla mint tea.

Tea and Sympathy = Yum!

But...I'd never had a pot of tea made with loose leaves before, so let's just say that I was having issues with the strainer. (I tried putting the strainer-rest IN my teacup. FAIL.) And the lid of the King Henry VIII–themed china teapot nearly met its death when I tipped the pot over too far. And the too-old-for-me-but-totally-hot Englishman sitting next to my friend very nearly had to catch it for me. *blush*

On a less humiliating front, I watched Clueless for probably the millionth time last night, and I just want to say this: best Jane Austen adaptation EVER. I'm not saying I don't lurve Pride and Prejudice '95, 'cause I do; I'm just saying that Cher is SUCH a good Emma. And that every line in the movie is perfect and hilarious. And that every character is awesome. And that every actor does a totally rockin' job. And that, in short, Miss Jane Austen would be very pleased indeed were she to see it. (And/or horrified by everyone's general lack of propriety in their manner of dress. But whatever.)

"He said you gave him a toothache!"

And now...back to the couch for cuddling with Fred the kitty and watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I haven't seen Mary and the gang in ages—let's hear it for WJM, y'all. Minneapolis represent!

December Boys! Daniel Radcliffe! Australia? (7/15/09)

OK, so I'mma just get this out the way, right off the bat: Daniel Radcliffe is hawt. It was at the opening night showing of Order of the Phoenix that I first realized it, and by the end of the movie, I had two burning questions:

1. When did Harry Potter get buff? and


2. When did I become a pedophile?

At least he's not a teenager anymore. (Is he? I think he's in his twenties now. You know what? Don't tell me if he isn't. Let's just say he's in his twenties now.)


All of that said, he's also an excellent actor. In rewatching any of the Potter films, I'm always a little disappointed by the emphasis on action content—I'd like to see Radcliffe doing all of that shouting Harry does in the books. (I'm not seeing HBP until Friday night—so no reaction on that front just yet!) But when I finally got around to seeing Equus (which I had been putting off on account of going to see Radcliffe naked made me feel like a dirty pedophile), I got to see him shouting his head off, and it was amazing. (The nudity, which was very much essential to the traumatizing scene it takes place in, was tastefully done—and the play was extremely good.)

Now, to the point: December Boys. The movie (which is actually Australian) is OK. Radcliffe's character, Maps, has a really engaging storyline (and gets in some good shouting, too), but it's held back till very late in the film, which focuses instead, and often not very interestingly, on four orphans (Maps included) frolicking at the seashore and vying for favor from potential adoptive parents. Still, on the whole, it's quite engaging. (Also, Radcliffe, who was maybe 15 at the time, is looking hotter than usual. So that adds a whole other level of appeal slash creepiness.)


And then there's the music. The score is god-awful and emotionally manipulative—all melodramatic strings during life-threatening situations and suspended cymbal swells at emotional climaxes. Which is to say that this movie about orphans (plus a fatal illness or two) did not make me cry.

Um. Yeah. Just to put my lack of weeping into perspective:

• Avenue Q (yes, the parody of Sesame Street with songs like "The Internet Is For Porn" and "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist") makes me cry.


• Scrubs makes me cry.


• Reading about Jane Austen succumbing to Addison's disease makes me cry.


• Seeing Mary Tyler Moore cry makes me cry.

A movie about orphans that doesn't make me cry = Epic Fail. No matter how hot or talented Daniel Radcliffe is. (Sorry, Daniel!)

So. Back to that. As with Equus, the media attention focused much more on his "sex scene" (which consists of some fully clothed making out—the Deed takes place offscreen), which wasn't as important as the shouting scenes, and now I'm quite ready to see him in more post-Potter work. More shouting, if you please!

39 Steps Forward, 2 Steps Back (7/10/09)

We come together 'cause opposites attract!

Hey, guys! I accidentally went to a British play last night. Happy surprise! The 39 Steps is a spoof of Hitchcock's The 39 Steps, and probably everyone but me knew that Hitchcock was English. I don't cope well with frightening films, or frightening books, for that matter, and I may or may not have had a few (ahem, several) Lord Voldemort nightmares. Suffice to say that Hitchcock isn't really my bag.

But Hitchcock parodies certainly are! Arnie Burton's portrayal of Professor Jordan is officially my new favorite evil mastermind ever:

And instead of ending by covering the audience with confetti, as happened when I saw Clay Aiken in that other little Brit parody, Spamalot, bubbles rained on us at the finale. Fun! The best bit of all of this is that, per the IMDB synopsis, all of the absurdity in the play is lifted pretty directly from Hitchcock's thriller. That's kind of awesome. Oh, and there's this: the cast of 4 plays 150 characters, as seen below:



Result: I'm a fan!


And now, for the superimportant Harry Potter news: The Kiss between Ron and Hermione has been filmed, and it was, unsurprisingly, exceedingly uncomfortable for all involved. But mayhap that won't come across on the big screen. I hope the basilisk fangs are included! Daniel Radcliffe has also offered some commentary on the kiss between Harry and Ginny Weasley (which we will be seeing in Half-Blood Prince NEXT WEEK!):

"I saw the film again a couple of nights ago at the premiere and…my God, my lips are like the lips of a horse, kind of distending independently away from my face and trying to encompass the lower half of hers," Radcliffe, 19, said.

"So I apologize for that," he said.

OMG. Radcliffe is so consistently fabulous. I still can't tell whether he is intentionally hilarious in all of his interviews, or if he is just overwhelmingly, Britishly self-conscious. It seems to be the former, but as long as he continues to describe himself as having the lips of a horse, I really don't care either way.


And on the mom front, she visited the Frick Collection yesterday (frolicking about New York while I slaved away at work); last night, I made the mistake of asking her if she'd seen the Bronzino painting of the boy with the ginormo codpiece (in the room with the Veronese that looks exactly like Justin Timberlake, I believe). Unfortch, she didn't know what a codpiece is (isn't that part of Shakespeare 101 or something?), and I had to explain it. So that was awkward.