Saturday, June 5, 2010

Soulless. Petronella. Jeeves. OH, MY… (3/1/10)

Hey! It’s Book Review Monday! I bet you didn’t know about Book Review Monday here at Anglotastic. That’s because I just made it up! And at the end of this post about amazing books that share a VERY SPECIAL common element (Okay, TWO or THREE very special common elements!), I’m retiring Book Review Monday. But it could always return. One never knows. *eerie music*


First up: Soulless, by Gail Carriger


If you have ever thought to yourself, “Gosh, I wish I could read a book about a saucy, ridiculously fabulous Victorian woman who murders a vampire with her trusty parasol, lusts after a werewolf with a peerage to his name, and, oh yeah, doesn’t have a soul,” then this is the book for you.

If you’ve never thought that, it’s okay. This is STILL the book for you, because it is amazing. When I read it, I stayed up till 4 o’clock in the morning so I could finish it. And believe you me, I am much too far into my dotage to be doing that sort of thing.

A few key points:
  • It’s possible that I lurve Alexia Tarabotti even more than I do Elizabeth Bennet. (Please don’t shun me, Austenites! I can’t help myself! She’s irresistible.)

  • Floote, Miss Tarabotti's valet, is, like any good butler, extremely discreet, not to mention reminiscent of Jeeves (about whom more later).

  • Carriger’s deftly created political underpinnings to her alternate-universe London= magnificent.

  • Um, hello? Gay vampires in the house!

  • WARNING: This is a romance novel. I was not aware of that before reading it. I have never read a romance novel before. For a romance novel, it is very tame. For a Victorian novel…not so much. Nevertheless, I fully support any novel with an, ahem, “scene” in which the heroine says, “I’m going to take advantage of you now.”

You can visit the fabulous Ms. Carriger at her blog, and the second book in the Parasol Protectorate series, Changeless, is out March 30, 2010. Mark your calendars!


Next: Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone, by Dene Low


Oh, HAI, self-aware, giddy YA novel! Speaking of sauce and sass, one Petronella Arbuthnot has both in spades.

Miss P has a divinely unique, strong voice, and she is a young lady of sixteen who knows what she wants. Part Gilda Joyce, part Jane Austen, part P.G. Wodehouse, Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone is a delightful romp, as the romantic comedy reviewers always say. And Petronella’s crush, Lord James Sinclair, has a " majestic brow" and a titillating "sea of…estimable muscles," and, of course, his hair finds itself undulating in "dark waves arranged carelessly and held in place with brilliantine." Most fun fictional teenage crush ever.

Oh, and Moriarty, her butler? He has a distinct air of Jeeves-ness about him. Do I detect a trend?


And last, but never, ever least: The Inimitable Jeeves, by the aforementioned P.G. Wodehouse


There isn’t much I can say about Wodehouse that hasn’t already been said, and more eloquently at that. Stephen Fry says, 'You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.' Hugh Laurie (le sigh) says, 'The funniest writer ever to put words to paper.' What more exalted praise can a brother get?

But still I must exhort you to read Wodehouse if you never have before. You haven’t enjoyed flawlessly funny writing until you’ve met frivolous socialite Wooster and his gentleman’s gentleman, the outstanding Jeeves. So jump on this decades-old bandwagon, kiddies. You will be immersed in delight. I pinky-promise you.

* * *

Now, about those Very Special Common Elements, for those of my dear readers who need things s-p-e-l-l-e-d o-u-t for them: Awesome butlers! Fabulous heroines (plus Wooster, who is pretty effeminate, what what?)! English Englishness! And, most important, glee-inducing high jinks and general hilarity!

And now you know all, so go, my little cabbages, and read your eyeballs out. You’ll thank me later.

An Anglotastic Birthday Extravaganza! (2/16/10)

Holy Harry Potter, people! This is going to be the crazy-awesomist Anglotastic post of ALL TIME.


But first, housekeeping: I gots a big-girl job now, and I’m in my last semester of grad school (oh, HAI, thesis project!), so I’mma stop playing like regular posting is even a remote possibility, sans TARDIS. But I will post when I can, 'cause I loves to write nonsensically about all things Anglo for your reading pleasure…and presumably to the detriment of your gray matter, but whatevs.

Okay, let’s clear our collective olfactory palates of that biznass-like nonsense. *holds out jar of coffee grounds*

Ready? Sweet! Ladies and gents, permit me to welcome you to…

The Gryffindor Common Room!


That’s right! My birthday was last month, obviously necessitating a Harry Potter party, because I’m a grown woman, and that's how I roll. If you live in Hogsmeade and weren’t invited, I’m super-duper sorry, but the Gryffindor Common Room is like really really small, and I had to draw names out of the Sorting Hat (welcome to life in Queens, kidz).

But it’s okay, because you are ALL invited, right now, to celebrate my birthday soirée right here on Anglotastic!

Click to enlarge.

Just send a response in with your owl and we’ll get started.

*waits for owls*

*counts owls received*

Excellent, now let's party like Fred and George are in charge! First, you have to get past the Fat Lady. Remember, the password is Fairy Lights. If you get it wrong, she comes to life and punches you in the spleen, so watch out!


Did you make it? Good. Please—come inside and have a look around. Don't let Snape catch you with that Marauder's Map, or he'll have you out of here before you can say "greasy-haired git."


And don't forget to check out the notice board for used spellbooks and upcoming trips to Hogsmeade.


Oh, and if you need to use the loo, it's just around the corner. But remember the Hogwarts rules!


Once your're settled in, feel free to pull up a chair by the fire to warm your fingers and toesies.


Now that you know your way around, it's time to relax. And if you're feeling peckish, never fear! Dobby and Winky scored some recipes from Honeydukes and the Lunch Trolley, so please help yourself to any of the following:

  • Acid Pops

  • Blood Pops

  • Cauldron Cakes

  • Cockroach Clusters

  • Fizzing Whizbees

  • Licorice Wands

  • Peppermint Toads

  • Pumpkin Pasties

  • And, of course, Butterbeer


Holla at some close-ups:




Um, YUM. But on second thought, Dobby picked up the Fizzing Whizbees from a Muggle shop, and they’re horrid, so skip 'em. The Pumpkin Pasties, however, are basically the most delicious food ever (thanks, Winky!), so I’d deffo recommend stuffing an extra few of those in the pockets of your school robes.

The copious sweets are balanced out by some delish sandwiches (Options: cucumber, cheese, bacon, chicken, or corned beef. That’s right: corned beef! Yum!), plus your standard crudités, including some splendiferous goat cheese. But that’s not very magical, so let’s call it…Kneazle cheese?


Big love to Crookshanks! Anyway, now that you’ve stuffed your faces, do you fancy a nice game of Pin the Tail on the Hippogriff?






We can follow that with a dash of Harry, where’s your Snitch?, plus some general carousing whilst we jam out to all the awesome wizard rock we’ve been listening to ever since you arrived:

Harry and the Potters!


The Moaning Myrtles!


The Ministry of Magic!


The Whomping Willows!


The soundtrack to Order of the Phoenix! (Because everyone owns that, right?)

And in re: wizard rock, Ministry of Magic’s Harry Potter dance record = so wrong that it’s right. I’m telling you, my little witches and wizards, if you trot on over to iTunes and shell out some Knuts for MoM’s Goodbye Privet Drive, it will Seriously. Improve. Your life. I wouldn't lie to you.

DANCE PARTY!

Everyone would love to have an all-night dance party, of course, but as Fred and George know all too well, Professor McGonagall will flip her shizzle if we don’t buzz off to our four-posters post-haste.

But be sure to grab a hand-knitted Gryffindor skinny scarf, courtesy of Dobby, before you go. It will make you hipster-cool. Maybe even cooler than hipster-cool. (Ol’ Dobs bought the wool from his wages, obvs.)


And now, everybody scrunch up real close and personal with your neighbors for a fabby Gryffindor group pic!


For those of you who are virtual guests, just pick your doppelgänger in the above photo and imagine yourself into the picture. Wait for it…wait for it…oh, there you are! Everyone looks so adorbs!

Now scuttle along and hop onto the Hogwarts Express, homeward-bound, and have sweet dreams, filled with Pumpkin Pasties, wizard rock, and unmitigated joy.

Britty Blogroll! (1/15/10)

Oh my god, you guys, I haven't the energy to be all Anglophiliac today. If you're in the mood for some Britty Brit-ness, try one of these blogs instead (in no particular order):

You might also watch this totally rad animated Doctor Who video:



Oh, the Doctor and his Chuck Taylors.

My weekend plans: Chillax. Knit. Drink tea. Listen to David Tennant read Doctor Who audiobooks. Make nefarious plots. You know, the usual. But I will be back at you on Monday with some brilliant book recommendations. It will be epic.

Oh, yes.

Sinead's hand. Jamie Oliver. Invisibility. Etc. (1/13/10)

In Which We Support Equality
Stateside this week, all eyes are turned to California, where two homosexual couples are challenging the passage of Proposition 8, which made gay marriage illegal. You can check out Newsweek's "The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage" if you want to know why a Republican attorney took the plaintiffs' case.

And you can check out this adorable Irish video (which I could have sworn I already posted on here, but can't find, so maybe that was one of my hallucinations) for another perspective on the subject:



In Which We Love Food
I don't really watch celebrity chefs, because I am a super-crazy picky eater and could never eat all of that "mashed raspberry syrup over lamb shanks marinated in goat's milk and drizzled with curried spinach and ginger shavings" sort of food. I'm more of a meat-and-raw-vegetables kind of girl.

But maybe I should watch Jamie Oliver. He does have a totally adorable accent; he isn't all shout-y and swear-y like one Gordon Ramsey; and this cat lufs him!



Also in Oliver's favor is that his grandparents ran an Essex pub called the Plough and Snail—pub name EPIC WIN.

In Which We Watch Our Backs

Because, apparently, invisibility—possibly in the form of Harry Potter—might attack at any moment.


Yeah…Oddly Specific is my new favorite website.

In Which We Practice Our Wonky English Accent, Guv'nor
Are you an American in the UK? Are you a Tea-Drinker in the US? Do you never understand anything anyone's talking about? Then visit Effingpot for a pretty good vocabulary lesson, covering everything from the game of conkers (which "The Bugle" recently tried to explain, much less effectively) to Cockney rhyming slang (be warned, Americans: septic = septic tank = yank = you).

In Which We Stop Blogging and Do Something Productive
Like, I dunno, go to work like a big girl? Anglotastic out, kidz. Catch you on the flip.

Anglotastic is back, Doctor Who and politics in hand! (1/11/10)

Oh, HI, everybody! Hi, hi, hi! I haven't seen you in oh so long! Guess what?! I got a teapot for Christmas! Teapots are great! You can brew three cups of tea at a time! This is terrible! Because you can brew three cups of tea at a time! That is a lot more caffeine than I'm used to! OMG!!!

Holy teapot, that is a lot of caffeine!

So I know I totally abandoned you for, um, more than a month. It's just that Hogwarts scheduled some craaaazy winter exams, and then everyone went home for the winter break, and then just holy cow things have been nutty. But I am back, and how! The blog will resume its regularly scheduled Monday, Wednesday, and Friday appearances, and everything is going to be Anglo-riffic up in here like whoa.

First up: Doctor Who, natch!
I have finally sufficiently recovered from the traumatic conclusion to series 2 to watch series 3, which is to say that on Saturday, I got up and started watching Doctor Who, and then it was 10:30 at night and I was like, "Um, hello, Saturday? Did I time-travel *past* you? What is going ON?"

There are a few things that I just absolutely have to say, and here they are:
  • I really don't like the character of Martha Jones. But I do love hearing the Doctor say my name! Also, seeing the Doctor's personality clash with Martha's threw his character in such sharp relief. That was pretty fab. I lurve you, Doctor!

Say my name, Doctor. Say my name.

  • The Master used the word "decimate" correctly! No one does that! *copyeditor swoon*

"Decimate them.…Remove one-tenth."

  • Donna on the Doctor's jacket: "God, you're skinny! This wouldn't fit a rat!" = I cannot WAIT for oodles of Catherine Tate in series 4.

You're totes right, Donna. He is skinny. Molly Weasley would insist that you eat a sandwich immediately, Doctor!

  • I really, really missed the Doctor.

I'm sorry I ever doubted you, David Tennant. You are man enough to be the Doctor. And your glasses make you look super-smart.

  • And finally, a spoiler [highlight to read]: OH MY GOD CAPTAIN JACK IS THE FACE OF BOE!!! THAT IS CRAZY AWESOME!!!

This is what a spoiler looks like.

And now, let's get political. That'll be super-exciting!
I'mma be real with you: I don't get British politics at all. (I'm particularly confused by their apparent ability to schedule elections on a whim. "I'm feeling a bit peckish. I think I fancy a spot of tea, a ham sandwich, and an election to determine who should be running the country.") But there seems to be a lot of drama going down right now, so if you're into that sort of thing—or think you can explain it to me—here you go:



Anatomy book? Check.
Female drummer? Check.
Random seafaring vessel? Check.

I dig it.

WRock, the Doctor, and The Office. Yes! (12/2/09)

Hey, everybody! I declare this Wizard Wednesday. So put on your pointy hats before reading this post.

Are you ready? Okay! Onward we go!

Keeping Track of Time and Stuff
If you, unlike me, do not want this year's Nude London Tech Calendar, mayhap you will be interested in the Calendar of WRock from The Harry Potter Alliance? Wizard Rock FTW!

Harry and the Potters make an HPA Calendar of WRock appearance.

Traveling Through Time and Stuff
Apparently there is some big Doctor Who biznass going down, but as I haven't seen anything since the series 2 finale, I can't read about it myself. Down with spoilers! But it appears to be a Christmas special, as well as David Tennant's actual final episodes as the Doctor, and YOU can read about it here.

As I have finally recovered from the trauma of series 2, I am totes ready to keep watching. But this pesky grad school malarky keeps getting in my way! I will see you again one day, my Doctor.

David Tennant as a Christmas Time Lord.

Meanwhile, on the Link Train…
Filmi Girl has sent me some fabby links in the past few days, and this is where I pass them on to you!


I Heart Dunder Mifflin
A small Office follow-up: Is it wrong that I would like to redecorate my apartment with these items? (The correct answer is "No, Anglotastic, it isn't wrong. In fact, it's so right that it hurts.")

DUNDER MIFFLIN!!!!!!


Now get back to your real offices, everyone. Dwight Shrute Bobblehead not included.

A Harry Potter Post. Magical! (11/30/09)

The first installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows isn't dropping until November 19, 2010. Is it too soon to start talking about it? No? Good!

Based on the below Lego® trailer of Order of the Phoenix, I would like to suggest to Warner Brothers that they scrap whatever they're working on and do the final two movies all in Legos. The current cast can do the voices. Best Idea of All Time.




Speaking of Harry Potter, one of my friends just got back from LA, and while she was there, she got me a present from Grauman's Chinese Theatre! Look!

OMFG wand prints! Harry, Ron, and Hermione make an appearance at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in LA.

This is my favorite picture ever. I love Emma's pointy little shoes next to the boys' big bulky ones. Also, my friend is apparently Sherlock Holmes, and she pointed out that Rupert is totes wearing Converse! Love it!

Hot or Not?: Foreign Policy Edition (11/23/09)

Happy Monday, everyone!

We're going to start the week off with a confession: Instead of selflessly watching oodles of Britty television to review for you, I have been obsessively watching the American version of The Office. Even though I know exactly what's going to happen with Pam and Jim, the suspense is killing me, and I may or may not have watched numerous episodes in the last two days. And by "numerous," I mean "23." Or so. Shut up.

My obsession with Pam and Jim = borderline psychotic. And now you know.

Nevertheless, I have managed to rustle up some Britty goodness on the Interwebz, and here it is:

Tory Party News of the Weird!
The Tory party chairman is named Eric Pickles! And he used to be a Communist! But mostly I just think "Pickles" is a fabulous surname. It presumably serves as the set-up to lots of obnoxious jokes about foodstuffs. Between that and the fact that he read Leon Trotsky's History of the Russian Revolution at age 14, I suspect that Pickles had a difficult time with the other kiddies when he was in school.

Cheese and Pickles sandwich, anyone?

Monarchies are just the cutest!
OMGA!!! (That's "Oh My God Adorable," a long-overdue acronym. You're welcome.) Look at Queen Elizabeth II being all royal and shizz at the annual State opening of Parliament! How cute is it that the British are still playing Monarchy? I just want to pinch their imperialistic little cheeks.

Queen Elizabeth II is just darling in her little queen outfit, isn't she?

Younger Men = Yes, Please
Being an Anglophile isn't just for the proletariate, dudes. In fact, just last week U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton described her English counterpart, U.K. Foreign Secretary David Miliband, as "tall and dashing." I can definitely see it:

David Miliband is nerd-chic, and Hillary Clinton isn't afraid to say so.

In the article, which unsurprisingly A) refers to Clinton as Hillary and to Miliband as Miliband and B) is all over the map on gender relations, the Telegraph sort of asserts the rights of the older woman to think that younger men are hawt. Thanks, Telegraph. You wouldn't happen to have Daniel Radcliffe's phone number handy, would you?

Daniel Radcliffe being all young and beautiful.

Le sigh. If you'll excuse me, I have a daydream to attend to.

Nude Nerds and Other News (11/18/09)

Today is Wednesday, people. The TARDIS and I did, indeed, get whirled away in a bit of a time warp on the way back from Georgia. Result: We dropped in on the Pleistocene age, and we also visited the Robotitor age.

Any time spent in the TARDIS is time well spent.

It was very exciting, but we're glad to be back in 2009. So on to the news!

Wish List Time
Guess what I would like for Christmas, Readerville!

Your hint is that it is not any of the following items:
  • A bottomless teapot of Indian chai from Alice's Tea Cup

  • A working model of Hogwarts, complete with real miniature witches and wizards

  • Richard Armitage wrapped in a bow


Richard Armitage seems mildly displeased that he has been sent to the States as a Christmas present.

Not that all of those things wouldn't be totally effing awesome, of course. If you can acquire any of them for me, I will be eternally grateful.

But no, for Christmas this year, I would like the Nude London Tech calendar: a bunch of Internet start-up geniuses, nekkid (plus strategically placed laptops and computer cables). And it's for charity! I'm such a giver.

Who doesn't need a calendar full of naked nerds? Why has this been such a long time in coming?

Listen to "The Bugle." For realz.
I know I already told you to listen to John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman wallow in ridiculousness in their weekly Times online podcast, "The Bugle." But I'm telling you again! I've been listening to a backlog of episodes, and I lurve it. Possible side effect of listening to it too often: Your own mental narration may take on the voices of Oliver and Zaltzman. This is disturbing, of course, but it can be remedied by listening to some hawt, popalicious Billie Piper, which is, mysteriously, always my post-"Bugle" craving. (Don't judge me. You know you love it.) I recommend "Because We Want To" for your listening pleasure.

Not a listening pleasure: Andy Zaltzman's bugle to the ear. Might I tempt you with some Billie Piper, Mr. Oliver?

Food for thought: In 1793, the Times of London reported that the French people had beheaded Marie Antoinette (you can see the actual article here). In 2009, the Times of London online produced a podcast in which John Oliver stated that Janet Napolitano, United States Secretary of Homeland Security, called him a goatf**ker backstage at The Daily Show (that would be "The Bugle" Episode 93, for those of you who think I am making this up).

Yeah, that's right. Marie Antoinette and "The Bugle" appear in the same publication. Makes perfect sense.

I'll permit your mind to finish melting before I continue.

Are you okay now? Good. Moving right along…

Anglotastic lurves fun accents, variant spellings, and novel dialects
And that, dear readers, is why I enjoyed this blog post from Smitten by Britain so very much.

On a side note, did you know that Noah Webster was remarkably anti-British and hell-bent on converting the English language into a veritable cornucopia of phoneticism? Well, it's true. And I blame him, quite justly, for shuffling all our spellings around and making it so difficult for a copyeditor to reasonably transition from one country to the other. *makes rude hand gesture in Noah Webster's general direction*

Real-life Michael Scott
Please don't throw paper products at me (I can't man up to the paper cuts), but I prefer the American Office to the British Office. Whichever version you favor, though, you'd hate to think there was an actual boss who circulated blatantly offensive jokes, was called out for it, and responded like so: "It shows I found a joke funny and circulated it to the rest of the team. I didn't think there was any question of appropriateness at all. It's an amusing joke, the team were all adults."

Mark Lowe described Nomos Capital executive Jordan Wimmer as a "dumb blond" and "decorative." WOW.

Tragically, Mark Lowe is real, and he is alive and well. And, presumably, has a hilarious e-mail that he's getting ready to forward at this very moment. It's about your mom.