But first, housekeeping: I gots a big-girl job now, and I’m in my last semester of grad school (oh, HAI, thesis project!), so I’mma stop playing like regular posting is even a remote possibility, sans TARDIS. But I will post when I can, 'cause I loves to write nonsensically about all things Anglo for your reading pleasure…and presumably to the detriment of your gray matter, but whatevs.
Okay, let’s clear our collective olfactory palates of that biznass-like nonsense. *holds out jar of coffee grounds*
Ready? Sweet! Ladies and gents, permit me to welcome you to…
The Gryffindor Common Room!
That’s right! My birthday was last month, obviously necessitating a Harry Potter party, because I’m a grown woman, and that's how I roll. If you live in Hogsmeade and weren’t invited, I’m super-duper sorry, but the Gryffindor Common Room is like really really small, and I had to draw names out of the Sorting Hat (welcome to life in Queens, kidz).
But it’s okay, because you are ALL invited, right now, to celebrate my birthday soirée right here on Anglotastic!
Click to enlarge.
Just send a response in with your owl and we’ll get started.
*waits for owls*
*counts owls received*
Excellent, now let's party like Fred and George are in charge! First, you have to get past the Fat Lady. Remember, the password is Fairy Lights. If you get it wrong, she comes to life and punches you in the spleen, so watch out!
Did you make it? Good. Please—come inside and have a look around. Don't let Snape catch you with that Marauder's Map, or he'll have you out of here before you can say "greasy-haired git."
And don't forget to check out the notice board for used spellbooks and upcoming trips to Hogsmeade.
Oh, and if you need to use the loo, it's just around the corner. But remember the Hogwarts rules!
Once your're settled in, feel free to pull up a chair by the fire to warm your fingers and toesies.
Now that you know your way around, it's time to relax. And if you're feeling peckish, never fear! Dobby and Winky scored some recipes from Honeydukes and the Lunch Trolley, so please help yourself to any of the following:
- Acid Pops
- Blood Pops
- Cauldron Cakes
- Cockroach Clusters
- Fizzing Whizbees
- Licorice Wands
- Peppermint Toads
- Pumpkin Pasties
- And, of course, Butterbeer
Holla at some close-ups:
Um, YUM. But on second thought, Dobby picked up the Fizzing Whizbees from a Muggle shop, and they’re horrid, so skip 'em. The Pumpkin Pasties, however, are basically the most delicious food ever (thanks, Winky!), so I’d deffo recommend stuffing an extra few of those in the pockets of your school robes.
The copious sweets are balanced out by some delish sandwiches (Options: cucumber, cheese, bacon, chicken, or corned beef. That’s right: corned beef! Yum!), plus your standard crudités, including some splendiferous goat cheese. But that’s not very magical, so let’s call it…Kneazle cheese?
Big love to Crookshanks! Anyway, now that you’ve stuffed your faces, do you fancy a nice game of Pin the Tail on the Hippogriff?
We can follow that with a dash of Harry, where’s your Snitch?, plus some general carousing whilst we jam out to all the awesome wizard rock we’ve been listening to ever since you arrived:
Harry and the Potters!
The Moaning Myrtles!
The Ministry of Magic!
The Whomping Willows!
The soundtrack to Order of the Phoenix! (Because everyone owns that, right?)
And in re: wizard rock, Ministry of Magic’s Harry Potter dance record = so wrong that it’s right. I’m telling you, my little witches and wizards, if you trot on over to iTunes and shell out some Knuts for MoM’s Goodbye Privet Drive, it will Seriously. Improve. Your life. I wouldn't lie to you.
DANCE PARTY!
Everyone would love to have an all-night dance party, of course, but as Fred and George know all too well, Professor McGonagall will flip her shizzle if we don’t buzz off to our four-posters post-haste.
But be sure to grab a hand-knitted Gryffindor skinny scarf, courtesy of Dobby, before you go. It will make you hipster-cool. Maybe even cooler than hipster-cool. (Ol’ Dobs bought the wool from his wages, obvs.)
And now, everybody scrunch up real close and personal with your neighbors for a fabby Gryffindor group pic!
For those of you who are virtual guests, just pick your doppelgänger in the above photo and imagine yourself into the picture. Wait for it…wait for it…oh, there you are! Everyone looks so adorbs!
Now scuttle along and hop onto the Hogwarts Express, homeward-bound, and have sweet dreams, filled with Pumpkin Pasties, wizard rock, and unmitigated joy.
