Saturday, June 5, 2010

Anglotastic goes to Georgia! (11/13/09)

Hey, peeps! I am going to Georgia, land of sun and peanuts, for the weekend, but before I go, I want to leave you with TWO THINGS.

One
Did you know that Georgia and England are parallel universes?! Facts:
  1. They are about the same size.

  2. Their speakers can be equally incomprehensible.

  3. The English lurve hot tea; the Georgian lurves sweet tea.

  4. The English lurve scones; the Georgian lurves biscuits.
Case CLOSED.

Two
Did you know that Richard Armitage read five bedtime stories to kiddies on Cebeebies? I know it's early in the day, but I could listen to this man tell me bedtime stories 24/7. And so a prezzie from me to you:



Hee hee! There's more where that came from. :D

And now I'm off! I will see y'all on Monday, unless the TARDIS and I get caught up in a time warp, in which case I will see you on Wednesday!



P.S. The above is a gratuitous photo of David Tennant's Doctor Who. You're welcome!

Oliver Twist gone wrong, and more! (11/11/09)

Wednesday's news is all whap! bam! boom! in your face like whoa! Strap yourselves in, everyone. Very exciting stuff aujourd'hui.

Most important thing ever!
Um, did you guys know about A Very Potter Musical and NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT? If so, you're all assholes. If not, I forgive you.

Either way…the best kind of musical theater is self-aware musical theater!



There's more where that came from at StarKidPotter's YouTube channel. I know what I'll be watching this weekend!

My new favorite article of all time!
Step down, Oliver Twist. Faux-posh British ladies are rockin' the five-finger discount to maintain their pre-total-failure-of-the-global-economy standards of living. That chic, smelly cheese? They wants it. That flashy bracelet? They needs it, precious. They needs it.

"Oh, this plane? I just picked it up at Marks & Spencer. Stuck it right in my purse. Those cashiers, they never notice anything."

I know I should find this all very distasteful, a sign of modern society's crushing dependence on material things and overwhelming sense of entitlement, blah blah et cetera and so on. But really, I just think it's awesome. What a beautiful mental image I have right now. La.

Totally unfounded gossip!
You know that whole foiled plan to bomb the New York subway system? (Did you know that freaking 1 million people pass through Grand Central every day? I did not need to know that. But now I do. As do you. Sorry.)

Well, good old Scotland Yard tipped the FBI off on that! Thanks ever so much, British spies. Much appreciated. Of course, this information is obviously being released just now as a promotional ploy for the new Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr. and landing in theaters on December 25.

Rumor = STARTED

Dumb movie adaptations!
Speaking of Sherlock Holmes, though, does anyone else think this nonsense looks like a travesty? If they would simply call it something else, instead of pretending that Sherlock Holmes would ever actually get into fisticuffs with anyone, I would absolutely be backing this thing. But Holmes is very, very English. And not in a James Bond-y, action-adventure sort of way.

Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Whatever you say, Warner Brothers.

I can't embed the trailer, because apparently the Warner Brothers marketers have forgotten how to work the Interwebz, but you can watch it here.

Back at the castle!
In closing for you on this lovely Wednesday, a little something from Professor McGonagall:

10 Points to Gryffindor!

Have I mentioned how much I lurve I Can Has Cheezburger? 'Cause I lurve it thiiiiiiiis much! Mwah!

Now scram! You have A Very Potter Musical to watch!

Aasif Mandvi Slant-Rhymes with Zombie (11/9/09)

Hey, Anglophiles! What's shakin'? Are you ready to take another Monday by storm? (By "take another Monday by storm," I mean play games on iGoogle, wander about your offices aimlessly, and generally be hideously unproductive as you pine for the weekend that was. Obviously.)

As for me, my weekend-that-was totally rocked for the following blog-related reasons:
  1. I found out that The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi used to live in the UK! This is fantastic, because I try to keep my non-Britty obsessions off the blog, but now when I talk about The Daily Show, as I lurve to do, I don't have to focus quite so much on John Oliver. Not that I don't heart John Oliver, but I was starting to seem a little creepy, no?

  2. Speaking of how Aasif Mandvi now qualifies as Anglotastic material, I got to hear him read from what I hope is a forthcoming book at the fabulous and hilarious Moonwork on Saturday. (It's bi-weekly and open-bar. Check it out.) So if you ever get a chance to see Aasif, do it. Then beg him to read his book to you. Don't try to follow him home or anything, though. That would be weird.

Aasif Mandvi and John Oliver put on their quizzical faces.

While we're on the subject of Brits and former Brits in connection with comedy, there has been a crazy kerfuffle Tea-Side in re: how offensive comedy should be. (Apparently a radio personality said that an athlete has a large schnoz. As an American, I can't help thinking, "Really? This is upsetting to you? Why don't you people try Don Imus on for size?")

Anywho, I'm pretty fond of the Telegraph's take on when comedy can be offensive. Other offerings include the Independent's somewhat rambling piece, which charmingly quotes Don Ward as saying that objections to sexist material "are almost considered twee" (fuck you very much); and this depressing poem from Chortle about how rape comedy = not a good idea. (Isn't it fantastic that it's necessary for someone to explain that? In the form of a poem? In the year 2009? Yaaaaay, progress!)

Okay, I know, I'm depressing you. I'm depressing me, too. So let's talk about Miss Jane Austen!

OMG! It's Jane Austen: 21st Century Edition! She LURVES zombies!

I feel better already.

Two things, both courtesy of Austenblog:
  1. HOW did I not know about From Prada to Nada (aka Sense and Sensibilidad)? The modern-day Latino spin on Sense and Sensibility is slated for 2011, and Alexa Vega (yeah, that's right—the girl from Spy Kids) is going to be in it, as is Lindsay Lohan's ex Wilmer Valdarrama, whom I always dug as sketchy Fez on That '70s Show. I am intrigued.

  2. Our friends over at Quirk Books are publishing a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies prequel. In Dawn of the Dreadfuls, we'll be learning how Lizzie Bennet became "a savage slayer of the undead." So if zombies are your jam, save the date: The book drops March 24, 2010.

Dawn of the Dreadfuls will be a brainy read.

Oh, Jane. You cheer me up every time!

Brits and God; Brits and Sex; Brits and Ghosts! (11/6/09)

It's Friday, everyone, and your friendly neighborhood blogger has lady troubles, so on we dash to the news in brief, after which I am going to make and eat an entire pan of brownies. Delish!

BROWNIES!!!

David Cameron thinks he's American
Why else would a Brit be talking about God and stuff in public? Cameron. Dude. Your constituents are English. You're making them uncomfortable. Calm down.

"Americans love puppies, too, right? Puppies and Jeebus?"

Britty conservatives object to mandatory sex ed
Seriously, is this opposite day? I thought the Brits were supposed to be sensible about these things. Hey, Brits! Here in the US, states with abstinence-only education have really high teen up-the-duff rates, on account of the kiddies don't understand how the duff works or what one must do to get something up it.

Sex ed, southern-style.

But the real story here is that, according to the Times article about mandatory sex ed, the British Schools Secretary is named Ed Balls.

Anglotastic loathes Ricky Gervais
So you guys, I just spent a horrible evening at Carnegie Hall listening to Ricky Gervais tell tasteless jokes about the following things:
  • rape

  • child molestation

  • fat people

  • homosexuality
It was offensive, it wasn't funny, and there was no point to it, other than perhaps to illustrate that Ricky Gervais is a dirty old man. For realz, some people actually walked out. FAIL.

I hereby revoke your Union Jack, Ricky Gervais. You're dead to me.

Ghosts tip off Welsh police
True story: Welsh police are using information from ghosts in a murder inquiry. Okay, Wales. That's not weird at all. And believe me: The rest of the world totally takes you seriously.

"I saw everything, Officer. It was terrifying!"

Okay! Now you are own your own for entertainment sources for the weekend, though I can recommend that you hop over to iTunes and download some free eps of the John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman podcast "The Bugle: An Audio Newspaper for a Visual World." It's fantastic.

John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman reporting for duty at "The Bugle."

And now I'm off to have brownies for dinner. Jealous much?

Newsie Miscellany! (11/4/09)

This just in from the playground
Social networking is totally fun! It's what all the cool kidz are doing these days. And if you haven't seen the Pride and Prejudice incarnation of it, go to Austenblog and read Lizzie Bennet's status updates! Whee! (Hat-tip to Don't Worry, Drink Chai!)

Also, I assume you're aware of Sarah Schmelling's Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float, an entire book of literary reductions presented as Facebook newsfeeds. But if you weren't, now you are. And there are excerpts at Maidens Who Don't Float! (By the bye, Schmelling was responsible for McSweeney's Hamlet newsfeed.)

Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float…'cause she drowned, geddit?

Now for the depressing bit of today's program
In the very first Anglotastic post, I talked about Moira Cameron, the first lady Beefeater at the Tower of London, and how warm and fuzzy it is that the Tea-Drinkers are considering the possibility of thinking about instituting gender equality a mere 500 years after the Beefeaters were established.

Well, for some reason, everyone is shocked—SHOCKED—that Moira Cameron has been harassed at work and made to feel unwelcome in the 500-year-old boys' club that is the Tower of London. Because gender inequality is dead, right? Right!

But for reals, dudes, Beefeater bullying is NOT COOL.

Beefeater Moira Cameron is adorable: Confirmed

Back to the positive, by which I mean the negative: Shoes!
I recently launched a temporary new blog (hello, school project!) called Shoes Only a Mother Could Love, in which I say mean, not-always-school-appropriate things about cugly shoes.

I bring this up here to tell you that I tried, and failed, to be sufficiently mean about Britty shoe company Dr. Martens, on account of Docs are so damn cute. Well, except for one of the pairs in this post. Seriously though, kidz, the ones here are oddly fabulous. Brits and gastronomy—maybe not so much. But Brits and shoes? Hellz yeah.

Oh, Doc Martens, your fabulousness gets me every time.

And now for international news
English ex-pat Hugh Laurie is doing quite well for himself indeed! According to this month's Foreign Policy cover story about how TV will save us all, House is the most-watched TV show in the world, clocking in at 82 million viewers. Jeeves & Wooster global represent, what what!

Hugh Laurie as Dr. Sexypants on House = Global Win

Prime Minister Update
If you didn't get the memo, Gordon Brown is, like, a total failure as Prime Minister. Oops! Maybe he should use the totally rad, weirdly accurate Barack Obama Quote Generator to give his speeches a little sumthin'-sumthin'. I bet that would fix everything!

"Okay, Gordie, what you gotta do, see, is give the people hope for their futures, for the tomorrow that could be so bright if we all take responsibility for ourselves. Now, give it a shot."


Problem = SOLVED.

Richard Armitage! Wales! Oxford! KITTENS! (11/2/09)

Obligatory "sexy Richard Armitage" photo. Are you happy, Google Images?

True story: My gaydar is pretty good, but my Eurgaydar™ doesn't work at ALL. (They drink tea out of dainty cups, they air-kiss, they lurve the theater…it's confusing!) So I'm not sure what to make of this comment by Richard Armitage about his costar Hermione Norris running out of an exploding house on-set:
I've never seen anyone leg it so fast, and she was in her Jimmy Choos!
I'm not saying Richard is gay. I'm just saying that if he were American and he said that, I'd be saying that he was gay. (Come on, y'all, referencing designer shoes by name? We've all seen that last-season Pradas scene in Legally Blonde.) In the article, Armitage also mentions producers' penchant for making him go topless. I love that he thinks his objectification is ridiculous. You can read all about it here.

Richard Armitage says, "Yes! Anglotastic finds objectification ridiculous, too! (Except on her blog. Then it's fine.)"

Another fab Armitage article (that totally makes me feel better about my ancient, collegiate, blogging ass) is over at the Daily Record. In it, he discusses the tough time he used to have getting acting jobs. Also, he worked as a laserquest marshall, you guys. If that's what I think it is, then it's so much more awesome (slash horrible) than being a waiter.

Richard Armitage with luscious locks as baddie Guy of Gisborne.

Abrupt change of subject: Hey, you know what I heart? Robin Hood! You know what I heart even more? Robin Hood with Claws! (WHY have I been ignoring the existence of I Can Has Cheezburger for all this time? What is wrong with me?! I needz to embrace the Interwebz!)

Invisible Bow and Arrow

Kitties are adorbs. Here's another one:

Kitten Invents Welsh

Did you know there is a town in Wales called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? It's a fact! Apparently, it means "the church of St. Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the church of Tysilio by the red cave." Just in case you need to know.

It's a map of Wales! OMG!

In non–adorable kitten news, I have a fairy tale to tell you!

Once upon a time, a little copyeditor couldn't find a job, so she decided to go to grad school. That sounded boring, so in addition to lame American schools, she applied to the magical educational institution Oxford, which has colleges that date all the way back to the thirteenth century. (Oooooh! Aaaaah!)

Oxford cruelly rejected the little copyeditor on a piece of British-size A4 paper, so she went to a lame American school instead. That's probably for the best, though, because she may or may not have primarily (um, entirely) applied to Hogwarts Oxford because they have Common Rooms and take their meals "in Hall." The colleges are presumably decorated with suits of armor, and everyone divides their time between performing magic and solving mysteries—or so the little copyeditor has been told.

Then, a year after turning the little copyeditor away, Oxford released sample interview questions, meaning that other little copyeditors, if they were asked for interviews, would be more prepared. But our little copyeditor had no use for such questions.

According to the above pictorial evidence, Oxford is an actual Magical Town.

And so the little copyeditor kissed her Oxon dreams goodbye. Instead of crossing the threshold of those hallowed halls of ancient learning, she moved to dirty, fabulous New York City and began plotting her emigration to London, where she will one day live happily ever after. Holla.

The End

The Anglophile Halloween Edition (10/30/09)

Happy Halloween Eve, everybody! I hope you're all ready for the big day. As for me, there are numerous enormous pumpkins in my wee apartment, and my shipment of live bats will be arriving in the morning.

If you're in a panic because you have yet to decide on a costume, never fear! Anglotastic has got your back. My recommendations for Anglo-riffic Halloween costumes are sure to bedazzle you. You could be any of these things:
  1. Sexy Union Jack

  2. Sexy Cucumber Sandwich

  3. Sexy Teapot

  4. Sexy Radio 4

  5. Sexy Sense of Superiority

You're welcome!

Hey, speaking of Halloween in the UK, this is what Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie have to say about it:



Okay, well Fry and Laurie are Halloween fuddy-duddies. But Harry Potter et al. are NEVER Halloween fuddy-duddies. Also not fuddy-duddies: The Harry Potter Alliance. This is not strictly Halloween-related (though you can check out the HPA suggestions for Halloween do-gooding), but it is awesome-related.

The HPA went door-to-door in Maine last weekend, asking voters to vote against the ballot measure banning gay marriage. They also arranged a phone bank, which is apparently super-easy to do from your home, if anyone's into that. I'm too much of a wimp to call strangers on the phone, but if you are not, you could make some pre-election calls this weekend. Instructions from the HPA are here.

My final bit of Alliance cheerleading for today: In this Daily Beast article about the HPA, Alyssa Rosenberg talks about fantasy fan activism. HPA co-founder Andrew Slack has plans to start some outreach to True Blood and Lord of the Rings fans. He calls it "possibly the dorkiest coalition in human history." Um, yes please.

And finally, this picture is rumored to be Richard Armitage, all dressed up for Halloween his stage role in Cats. Hee!

Richard Armitage as a yowler in Cats. Nice.

That brings us to the end of my Halloween instructions and notes and general activism for today. Have fab weekends, and if anyone dresses up as anything Anglo, by all means, send me a picture!